(BEFORE you read - this blog is about a month old so the dates I'm talking about are a little confusing!) I now have internet and a land line at my apartment, hence the appearance of this blog.
Warning: Now…don’t say I didn’t warn you because the title says it all about this particular blog. I haven’t blogged for far too long, not through a lack of want but through lack of time (plus the ongoing lack of internet at my place…I finally got time to try and install it and failed). I think I need to buy a fixed phone for the apartment and eventually it might finally work…just another thing to add to the number of petit erreurs I have made in the past few weeks. I say petit with a hint of sarcasm because I have had several hilarious failures at life in the last few weeks.
Je suis tombee: First of all I fell over in the street, right in front of a packed bar that I often frequent after work. It was terribly embarrassing…helped less by the fact that the person I was with almost didn’t notice and only realised by the reaction of the people who filled the terrace. So…after eventually being helped up and having brushed myself off I entered the bar followed by numerous bad jokes about ‘faire attention’ and ‘quatre ou cinq cocktails mademoiselle??’ I was not impressed as I had only had two cocktails and also fell due to a ridiculously unsafe piece of pavement that is entirely unlevel (France has a lack of concern for health and safety sometimes…in England this pavement would not exist and I would therefore have still been standing). Now before I go any further I just want to explain that I do not normally rant about the French people or the French system of living. However this has been a special couple of weeks and I have had some clashes with both aforementioned things. Alors…viola, this week excuse my rant but sometimes it’s necessary.
Pure idiocy: Last week I also managed to block my phone whilst at Disneyland rendering me phoneless and seriously frustrated. It sounds ridiculous but when your phone is your only connection to your friends, your emails, your blog…..your social life entirely it is incredibly annoying when you manage to block it honestly just by not paying attention. I’m sure people are starting to expect me to do ridiculous things it’s becoming such a recurring thing. I arrived at work the other morning after a pretty poor night’s sleep and my boss must have recognised the look on my face because he asked me “Did you lose your phone again??” Oh yes…reminding me that when I first started at Wall Street I dropped my phone in the Seine whilst enjoying a subway sandwich. Phones in the river, stolen, drove over…whatever next. Anyway of course to fix my phone I had to go to the shop because if you don’t have a Bouygues phone or a landline (which I do but it’s still not working) you can’t call Bouygues to ask for help – ingenious, really. Luckily I had a two hour lunch and there is a shop on Rue Auber so I nipped across in my lunch for what I thought would be a 20 minute jobby. On arrival I was instructed by another customer who was already waiting to take a ticket…so I did. After twenty minutes of watching overweight phone consultants try to sell people phone deals my number finally got called and I got the manager so I thought ‘Great I’m in luck this should take two minutes!’ Unfortunately for me I had the consultant who decided to take a phone call during my ‘meeting’ and proceed to chat about something entirely different for another ten minutes. Now…I am not an impatient person but I can see where some of the French people get their lack of patience from, something that literally should have taken five minutes took almost 45 minutes. I found myself huffing and tutting at the man on the phone who eventually hung up and apologised. I have officially started to become Parisian…I have never tutted someone in my life before. Here in France however it seems it’s how you get things done. Finalement, my phone was unblocked.
Bruises: Owing to the fact that I am constantly falling over, walking into doors/windows/cupboard corners I am normally covered with a bruise or…4. I have four at the moment. My bruises also cause a hilarious amount of discussion between my colleagues and I and seem to provide constant amusement for both staff and students. I have already been asked “Did your boyfriend do that to you??” and have been forced to retell the story of my mauvais circulation (bad circulation) and general lack of balance in life more than ten times. A) I don’t have a boyfriend and B) if I so much as brush past a door I bruise. The best thing I did recently was open my bedroom door and walk into it at the same time…this has happened twice because until I shower in a morning I am not awake at all and my hand-eye co-ordination barely works under normal circumstances…add tiredness = an accident. It left me with a red mark in the middle of my face last time, classy. Funnily enough my clumsiness only really began being noticed when I went to university. I think it’s because (and sorry if you’re reading this Kate Thompson) but my best friend all through school and sixth form (and still wonderful friend back in England) was the clumsiest person I have ever known. Kate could fall over anywhere…we were playing hide and seek once and I hid in the cupboard under the stairs (Harry Potter style) when Kate came tumbling down the stairs in her attempt to locate me. Well she found me of course because I was laughing so hard I burst out the cupboard to find her crumpled at the bottom of the stairs, partially resembling a puppet that had been cut from its strings. So it never really came up until university, Kate was always the clumsy one not me…oh how things change. In conclusion; I bruise a lot (inherited from my mother who is at least 5 times worse with bruises), I used to be self conscious and from time to time I still am (especially if the bruise is on show) but I have started to accept it’s going to be something I’m just going to have to deal with…and the jokes/sarcastic comments that follow.
Je suis tombee…again: So I fell over again, this time with Callum and Lydia on the way home from dinner (not a drop of alcohol had passed my lips). Honestly it’s getting ridiculous. I fell down the stairs in the metro and even caused Callum to ask….”Why are you always falling over Clo??” God if only I knew. My only comfort is that it seems to cause a huge amount of amusement among my friends and family and at least through that it seems it has some purpose. Later in the week I went to a bar in Bastille with some guy friends, tried to cross my legs at the bar and banged my knee so hard on the bar top I almost fell off my stool...one friend who was present is actually a doctor and he explained that I really should ‘faire attention.’ Yes, must be more careful, duly noted.
A general update: Work is great as always, we had our work do recently which was just amazing. It was held in an old sort of museum where everything was a relic of the 50s. Carousels, ball games, balancers, champagne, foie gras, crepes and sushi, a bizarre mix that somehow worked well together. It was the best work party I’ve certainly ever been to, everyone looked great, there were some interesting characters on the dance floor and we danced to a selection of Barry White, the Jacksons, LMAO and other tunes all night. It is a night I will always remember.
Lydia and Callum came to visit and I spent a nice day at Disney with them (minus blocking my phone) and a lovely evening with some other friends Kat, Rich and a face who recently reappeared, back from Boston – Cedric. Apparently he missed the English accent – I face constant debate about which is better, I personally love the enthusiasm behind the American accent but I guess it’s down to personal preference.
I’ve had what feels like several life-changing months, a lot has changed and although I’m still aware that I’m very young and have a lot to learn I’ve definitely grown up. My good friend Helena recently told me that the “sparkle” is back in my eye and I seem myself again. I think I lost myself for a little while along the way resulting in a crack under stress and pressure and the breakdown of a relationship but now in the words of someone I respect very much “Life is good.”
That’s all for now darlings.
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