The highlights of teaching English abroad

When you are an English teacher, especially in France, there are often highlights to your lessons which are primarily caused by pronunciation errors. Before I begin recounting my stories I must tell you that in no way do I want to make fun of any of my students, god knows I make terrible mistakes with my own French pronunciation causing a waiter to think I was saying "Thank you have a nice arse" instead of "Merci beaucoup." We all make mistakes. These are just some of the comments that have put a smile on my face and continue to help us, as teachers, appreciate the difficulty of English pronunciation. 

1. In a conversation class last week about animals I showed a picture not too different to this one (okay maybe it wasn't so child-like but you get the idea). I asked the students if they knew what this animal was and one, very enthusiastic student called out 

"I know! It's an octopussy!!" 

Now I tried not to laugh I really did but the fact that none of the other students understood the reference did not help my state of mind. So I managed to compose myself and say "Well....almost but actually the word is Octopus." None the wiser the students all nodded happily and noted the word down in their books. 

This was not the only highlight of my week. The next came during a Waystage encounter. When we begin a lesson we normally ask if the students have any questions or queries, especially regarding vocabulary or grammar (normally the most difficult). So as normal I asked the class if they had any vocabulary to ask me or any other questions. This conversation thus followed....

Student: Yes I have a word I didn't understand

Me: Okay, which word didn't you understand

Student: Dickhead

Me: Err....Are you sure it was definitely in your workbook? That particular word?

Student: (now a little agitated) Yes! It's in the book...I saw it, the word dickhead

Me: Okay so...I'm not sure why that was in your book it's not something we would normally teach to you in the context of your book and it would be quite difficult to explain (at this point I was trying to buy as much time as possible)

Another student: (Begins to explain in French and I finally understand what the student was trying to say -  thank goodness I understand French) Alors...c'est comme une dizaine en français.

Teacher: Oh! You mean a DECADE. 

Student: (In a very strong French accent) Yes zat eez what I said deekhead

Me: Okay in this case you must be careful with your pronunciation.................

I almost tried to explain that "I've been working for a decade"is very different to"I've been working for a dickhead"  but I realised that it would not help the situation as the students definitely weren't ready for 'gros mots' (swear words) in English yet. However it did provide for serious giggles for the other teachers and I. 

My last one came in a Threshold conversation class. Now....Threshold at Wall Street is one of the highest levels you can be so the students are fully aware of how to make English jokes and particularly they know how to embarrass me to the fullest (in a good way....i'll go on to explain). Actually I feel like I'm almost friends with a lot of my Threshold students, we see each other outside Wall Street when possible and they are always so warm and open you don't feel stuck in a teacher-student relationship. If you're having a bad day you just say, if you're fed up you just say, if you're really happy about something you share it and most importantly we're always making each other laugh. 

Alors...last week I had a conversation class with what we call the 'dream team' at Wall Street. These are our highest and most constructive students. The subject was dreams so naturally my first question was what kind of dreams can you have? One student replied immediately with the word "EROTIC." Being the typical English prude that I am I tried desperately to continue without laughing and steer the students away from the topic of erotic dreams. Everyone laughed and I blushed as always. 

A little while later I asked the students if they talk in their sleep (I talk about oranges - not kidding and my sister talks about everything and anything so it's something I'm very aware of in my family). A few people had general answers such as "my children talk about school, they think they are talking to their friends" etc. One student explained that he sleeps alone so he doesn't know if he talks in his sleep. I asked if they had never stayed with a friend or someone else who might have noticed. A student that we will call C replied very nonchalantly with "Chloe....if there is someone else sleeping in my bed I am definitely not going to be sleeping." Everyone laughed and we all stayed in good, happy spirits for the rest of the evening. I was unable to not laugh and finally realised that I'd have to join in. As we say in English "if you can't beat them, join them."