Wednesday, too early am

For some unknown reason I have woken up a full 40 minutes before my alarm today...so I have a little extra time to blog. I imagine I woke up because last night I was concerned about sleeping through my alarm and missing my appointment with my landlord...I think this is the main culprit. Anyway...today is my long day when I work until 21h but it's not so bad as tomorrow is my last day before a much needed 4 day weekend with Danielle and Megan.

When you live abroad you really start to realise which of your friends you truly appreciate, and which appreciate you in return. My university girls have shone through, always being there (even at 3am...sorry Dani), sending funny (and sometimes slightly crazy) messages that always get us laughing and having group chats on our phones that have become the closest we can get to pretending we're still at university....living carefree and irresponsibly. For these reasons and many more I'm very excited to see the girls this weekend. We all deserve a weekend off traipsing around Paris, mid-winter, drinking gluwein and just being totally British in every way. Oh la di da.

My American colleagues do some fantatic impressions of my British-ness...I only wish I could imitate them too to make it even. Will have to work on my accents (if you know me at all you will understand how difficult this may be. Yesterday I tried to do chinese it came out italian...need I say more.

The next post will be more cultural/informative/insightful blah blah but for now this is about all you're getting from me at this ungodly hour. Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go.

à Londres

Finding the time to blog is not easy when you don't have the internet in your apartment (that's right I STILL don't have the internet) but...I think it's starting to come together so I shouldn't have to wait too much longer.

I want to write about all my recent experiences but I just don't have the time unfortunately...however here is a quick update.

Last weekend I went to London. Yes, that's right, the Devon born and bred girl who has avoided London her entire life whilst driving a tractor (metaphorically speaking) finally made the trip to the capital of England. I didn't do all the traditional tourist sites as my main priority was spending time with the girls and seeing old faces but I did manage a small trip to Oxford Street which I thoroughly enjoyed. The house the girls now live in is amazing. With it's high ceilings, modern kitchen, tall windows and 42 stairs to the top (complete with a gorgeous wooden hand rail) it's a far cry from student living in Loughborough. Not that we didn't love our house in Loughborough but the fire doors constantly slamming or blocking you out of a room weren't the best idea ever...I am also happy to say that everyone seemed content and all doing well (we're all employed wahoo - two fingers up to the failing economy. I also laughed more than I have in a really really long time so I am very grateful to the girls for such a wonderful weekend.

I am happy at work as always and my personal life is not a complete mess which is always a plus. I will be in the UK again this weekend visiting my grandparents, sister, aunt, uncle and cousins (and little Thomas who is totally new to me!!) which I can't wait for. This week is pretty busy so I'm glad I found a short time to blog before my week is over before it begins (the time is flying by).

When I was at Clapham North station they have 'a thought of the day' on the wall. I had to write it down because it really meant something to me after everything i've experienced the last few months, so now I'll share it with you as your thought for the day (if you're reading this)...

"If you don't know where you're going you will probably end up somewhere else."

Oh and have a bit of Jason Mraz to cheer us all up in this miserable winter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=acvIVA9-FMQ

Moving forward

When I said times were changing I completely underestimated just how much things would change. My life is completely different now and I'm happy to say that I believe it's changed for the better.

I am célibataire now (however which way you put it, it means i'm single). Something which was unexpected to say the least and very painful at the time. Partly it still is and i'm not afraid to say that I suffered for a long time with a very broken heart. I don't know where this new wave of honesty has come from and apologies to all you readers and more importantly friends out there who have had to listen to this crap for the last few months. But there is a reason I write this now in my blog, for you all to see, because things have finally changed. I have turned a corner let's say. I have discovered a lot about myself, my friends (some I can trust, other's i've realised I cannot) and what I want for my future. I promise now this blog won't be all dreary seriousness about failed relationships but it's finally time to say something (after nearly a month of not blogging because I had no idea what to say...)

Now i'm happy. Things are a little complicated but i'm taking the steps to uncomplicate things and doing my best with the situation i'm faced with now. A very close friend of mine gave me the strength to finally do some necessary things and I am already feeling the weight easing from my shoulders. Thankyou to that person...you know who you are.

After ten years of following the band my dad and I finally got to see the RHCP's in concert and they were just...mindblowing. Well worth the wait and made us both stupidly happy. Poster now firmly attached to my wall in my room.

This weekend is sort of quiet so I hope i'll find time to blog again. I don't mind the quiet one because the next three are so busy for me. I have my mum and aunt here, then i'm in London with the girls for their housewarming (so excited!!!!) and then i'm visiting my grandparents, finally! So things are moving forward, really forward. No more going backwards!

As the French would say...c'est fini!

Times are changing

I pretty much have to grab anytime I can these days to blog. I have had a busy first 2 weeks, my training was great and really helped to prepare me for the job I am doing now. This is my second week of 'real work' I suppose and I can honestly say I am loving it (hope this doesn't jinx it). The first week I was here I was actually the biggest stress head ever and I am still trying to give out apologies to the person who suffered the effects of this bad mood the most (you know who you are). The problem was I have never not had a plan and I have been lucky enough that things have never really not gone my way...Must be the luck of the Irish (thanks Nan!) Unfortunately this meant that I have become accustomed to not screwing up and in a way things were always fairly easy for me. In France by the way, they are not. I didn't really understand how big the move was that I was making which in turn caused me to freak out big time and question if I had even made the right decision. Furthermore I had no appartment of my own, no bank account, no french phone, no navigo...basically I couldn't do anything. I mistakenly thought France would be the same as the UK but actually it's all paperwork, paperwork and you guessed it paperwork. Nothing is straightforward, even when you think it is, it isn't.

BUT on the plus side I began to realise that freaking out wasn't helping anyone, least of all myself. Things will get done but one step at a time and in France this means more slowly than you would like. However this week I managed to get my navigo (even if I basically had to convince the guy I would find an appartment the same day), have made progress with my bank; actually I screwed up and have to send more documents but progress is positive! I have a viewing of a petit petit studio on Friday but it's in a nice area and it would mean having a place to call my own (on verra) and I seem to have got a grip on my life in general. It almost ran away from me...literally it was moving so fast I thought I might fall off the wheel and never get back on. Luckily I have an amazing set of friends here in Paris who have supported my decision and repeatedly calmed me down when I thought my head might explode. I am also very lucky that a himself is so patient because sometimes I don't know how he doesn't throw things at me.

All in all things are going well, the girls are all starting to arrive, himself is back soon after a bit of a disaster holiday in NYC, my family are sunning themselves in Tenerife (a well deserved break) and I am happy. I couldn't ask for more at the moment so keep your fingers crossed for more news from the fish across the pond.

à bientôt

Je suis arrivée

Alors...I have arrived. Forgive me for any typos but i'm back on a French keyboard and still getting used to it. Anyway today is my first day back in Paris, unfortunately it's a bank holiday so there are simply too many people. Gui and I had a nice lunch together at the appartment though and then I went off looking for my new training office for tomorrow. I thought I had it all sorted, I had the address, I google mapped it, Gui pointed me in the right direction and off I went.

40 minutes later, feet blistered from new shoes I arrived at 88 Boulevard St Michel. I was looking for 90 bvd st michel...which apparently doesn't exist. I walked all around the area and even back the other way to check I hadn't missed it but no luck. So I decided in the sunshine I would go have a lie down on the grass in Luxembourg Gardens where I had a half an hour nap before heading back. I have just checked online (on the actual work webpage) and it looks like there is another 90 bvd saint michel and it's right near Clunny La Sorbonne so I'm going to go for another walk in a minute (worry not I bought plasters)!!!

Also because of ther Ascension the Notre Dame bells are having a party. It was pretty annoying at 11pm last night but I walked past earlier and they had speakers outside so you could hear the choir. It was pretty amazing! I just sent off the last part of my assignment so now I best strap up my feet and head out again.

Biz

Pack up and go...

So this is it then...I am actually packing up my suitcase(s) and heading back to Paris. I can't say it will be for good because let's face it we have no idea what is going to happen...but it's certainly a new chapter and a new step for me. I won't lie my nerves have been getting to me today as the day get's closer and the move becomes real but I am trying to keep a cool head! I am grateful that I can at least reassure myself that this was the right decision, it's what I've always wanted (live abroad - big tick), work as a teacher (didn't quite plan on it just yet but TEFL just seems to combine everything I enjoy doing), speaking French (or trying) and call me weird but just hearing French. I'm one of those people who turns my headphones right down sometimes just to listen to a couple bickering on the metro in French. Even when arguing the French somehow make things sound more beautiful. In England I would probably both turn my headphones UP and get off the train before people started throwing punches. I love the UK and it will always be my home but I fell in love with a city and I guess now we'll see whether that city could become my home...I still have a million other places I want to go and live for a while so we'll see if my feet get itchy or not :-)

On the other hand, I have had a wonderful summer that has honestly not been long enough in the slightest! 4 weeks with my family and friends just doesn't seem to have filled the gap in my heart but unfortunately....welcome to the real world. No more 2 months of summer holiday's, working in bars and staying out every weekend...those days are over! Luckily I have a very close family and some incredibly supportive friends who are already planning on visiting me as soon as I am settled and have my own place. To name a few see below, honestly we never drink normally....

I should write all about the Summer as it's been a busy time for me but tonight after packing my entire life into one suitcase and a hand luggage bag I can honestly say I don't have the energy! However I will begin to blog again regularly as much as I can.

New job, new chapter. A bientot bloggers.

To new beginnings

Funnily enough I think this was the title of my first ever blog post, when I just found out I was coming to France and beginning a new journey. Now my journey begins again...a new chapter let's say. All in the space of nine months I have - improved my French (actually being able to speak it well which I never could have imagined), explored Paris and discovered things I couldn't have even created in my imagination, stumbled across a good guy I actually want to spend my time with, made friends for life that I will never forget and most recently GOT A JOB AS A TEACHER. I can't really believe it and I guess it hasn't sunk it yet. I got the call yesterday and I was overjoyed, excited and nervous all at the same time. So I start on the 5th September and I couldn't be happier! As I've already said thankyou to everyone who was so supportive, I couldn't have done it without you. Special thanks to Mum & Dad, Mrs D and Mr David Force who repeatedly gave me advice on interviews/my CV and any other questions I had.

This isn't who I'll be working for but I liked the photo anyway as according to my American friends I am sooo British. La di da.

I also just found out I have a summer job teaching too AND I get £13.33 an hour, not so bad eh. Only downside is it is with teenagers and I just know they are going to love me (not). Oh well bring on the challenge. Maybe I can bribe them with power rangers...or whatever teenagers actually enjoy now...maybe it's more likely to be something electronic and mind warping. I'll have a think. Anyway at least I will not be a poor poor pauper in the summer which is nice.

I should write about what I have been doing recently which is visiting the beautiful garden of the Musee Rodin and exploring Invalides, drinking by the Seine (a typical French summer thing), watching Kung Fu Panda 2 in French (it's still funny) and generally making the most of my last week. However what I have decided to start writing about is my 'top places to go in Paris.' I found a journal type book (yes i'm a pikey I took it don't judge) in the Musee Rodin toilets and I have been filling it in with all my recommended Paris hotspots. None of them are stupidly overpriced or impossible to find. They are for people who want to see the real Paris, nice idea no? Yes? Let me know. Well here goes today's topic of discussion will be.........................wait for it................SUGARPLUM.

Sugarplum cake shop in the fifth arrondissement is a wonderful American style bakery just a short walk away from Notre Dame. The tourists don't know about it (thank god) so it's always pretty peaceful and somewhere you can feel at home as everyone speaks English. This is the website, not that I am being lazy but if you wanted more details! http://www.sugarplumcakeshop.com/en/ They make wedding cakes and birthday cakes as well as a huge selection of cupcakes, cookies, flapjacks, scones, cinnamon rolls, ice cakes and well...the list goes on. They also make the best homemade lemonade I think I have ever tasted, it's pretty sugar filled but it's delicious especially on a hot day. They do every type of tea you could ever manage and filter coffee is available with free refills! I would recommend this to anyone with a taste for delicious baked goods and even if you want to study/chat/have a meeting the atmosphere is perfect! The address is 68 Rue du Cardinal Lemoine 75005 Paris and the nearest metro stop is Cardinal Lemoine line 10. Check it out!

Blogblogbloggidyblog

So here it is...the blog I promised, I may have to stop half way and recommence later as Rachel will be joining me in Maisons Laffitte soon. Helena is leaving this weekend so we are all having a lovely spinach lasagne together before she goes. I never seem to post pictures of the girls so here is one of all of us from Dass' birthday (left)...cute hey?

Later on we weren't so ladylike...haha

I don't know what it is that happens when you mix au pairs with alcohol (or maybe it's girls in general) but we seem to have the most hilarious night's and always have a story or ten to tell. I think this was the night of "Parlez-vous amour?" Luckily most of these girls are planning to come back so

the stories won't end here!

Anyway I promised to write about Giverny so here it is...I have to be a little more brief or my blog post will be longer than my arm but you'll get the idea - you HAVE to visit Giverny if you are in Paris for longer than a weekend. Giverny if you don't already know is the home of Monet's house and garden (and the famous Lily Pond). I expected it to be beautiful but what I actually saw was 'incroyable.' I have never seen so much GREEN, and i'm from Devon so that seriously says a lot about how much green there was. After a comfortable, quick (40 mins ish) and cheap (19 euros return) trip on the train we arrived. At first there was an issue with buses (you can catch a bus for 3 euros) as there seemed to be hundreds of people and very few buses. So being sensible we waited for a taxi which ended up costing us the same amount, even slightly less I think and chatted to an American couple from Boston. When in the taxi I was glued to the window trying to take photos and take everything in whilst rushing past. It really reminded me of the South of France.

Once arriving at Giverny and it being the bank holiday weekend we realised we were going to have to join the back of the pretty-damn-long-queue. Eventually we only

waited for around an hour which in about 30 degree weather wasn't too bad! I think I applied suncream three times over just in the queue, we were getting pretty"bronzed" as my American friends would say. I think we paid about 3 euros to get in on a student tariff and then we were let free into the most beautiful garden I think I've ever seen. The just sheer amount of flowers was overwhelming. Every kind and colour you can imagine were in this garden. The paths were made of cream stone pebbles and wound their way through the shrubbery like the yellow brick road. From the centre of the garden you could see Monet's house through a set of green archways which was inside equally as beautiful as the garden. Monet clearly had an eclectic taste though..! You weren't allowed to take pictures within the house but let's just say this...it was colourful to say the least, every room was a different shade of yellow, blue, green etc. It really should have been an eye sore but it was just so...strangely appealing!

After a walk around the gardens we followed the signs to the "water feature." It's a strange little walk because you actually have to go underground (down some steps and underneath the earth) to reach the lily pond itself. I am no huge art fan I won't lie but as soon as I saw the lily pond I saw Monet's painting. No wonder he found so much inspiration from this particular place. It was breathtaking. The only downside was that there were a lot of people there, I couldn't even get a full picture of the lily pond and the bridge without a bunch of tourists in the background. I say the word tourists with such negativity when in actual fact I should remember that I am technically still a tourist myself. It's funny though...when you live abroad you start to watch tourists and hear tourists and as a result try your bloody hardest not to act like a tourist. I have to admit that sometimes I even speak French around particularly awful English and American tourists so they don't suss out that I speak English, shameful I know but honestly sometimes it's just...painful haha. Anyway, after a long day out we were absolutely exhausted, we danced in the rain (literally), had a terribly uncomfortable train ride home (all the tourists didn't buy tickets...you see my issues with them) but eventually made pizza and got into bed to fall asleep to a thunderstorm. What a day, would recommend Giverny to you all, happy travelling!

Trois semaines

I really have to start blogging again now as....it's all coming to an end. Well, sort of. I am actually coming back to France after a month at home in the summer (fingers crossed anyway). I have two current job offers but am really holding out for the final one which I have a third interview for next week. It would be perfect, I'd love the job and it's the right money just have to get into the final stage now so everyone PLEASE/s'il vous plait keep your fingers and toes crossed for your expat overseas.

I am actually beyond exhausted as I am still sick (6 weeks and counting) so here is a little bullet point update and I promise to present a full blog by the end of the week!

- I am still ill but refuse to go to a French doctor, himself made me realise that being ill was realistically all my fault because of my stubborn attitude towards French doctors or doctors in general. I am still trying to figure out where this new fear came from...will keep you posted

- Charlotte just visited for four days so I got to explore the Louvre more, see inside Notre Dame, climb the hill at Montmartre to Sacre Coeur, go on a BatoBus and consequently see one of the best views of the Eiffel Tower ever, tear and share uncut French pizza, discover the difficulties of finding vegitarian food in France and generally having a grand old time

- Previously I made it to Buttes Chaumont and picnicked with the girls and went to Giverny to Monet's house & garden's. It was so beautiful I will probably take up an entire blog just talking about it, just need to make sure that the other half doesn't see as I'd like to take him there eventually as a late birthday sort-a-thing

- I have three weeks left with the kids, I'm tired and emotional but know this experience will stay with me forever and I am going to need maybe one to ten boxes of tissues the day I leave. Translation = I love these kids (and this family). I am also going to miss all of the girls so much, blondie, red and brunette insanely they brighten up all my days. Luckily we are all coming back even if for some it's only an extra month but these girls have made it into my lifetime favourites and I will never forget them.

Update soon, over and out, bisous from me & smiles from baby Rafa

Jardin des Plantes

Reading my previous blog post has made me realise how LONG it's been since i've written something and how much has happened since I last updated my blog. Sometimes the problem with exploring Paris is that you spend all of your time doing the exploring and less of it actually writing about what it is you're doing. Anyway, let's fill you in as much as possible on the latest news from this beautiful city.

Thanks to my French boyfriend (yes I know I have crossed over to the dark side), I have been fortunate enough to discover the Jardin des Plantes. Based in the fifth arrondissement (Metro Line 7, stop Jussieu, the metro will tell you to get off at Place Monge but actually it's much easier and quicker to just walk from Jussieu). The garden is filled to the brim with flowers, plants, several different types of museums, a huge greenhouse and even a decent sized Zoo .A month or so ago I received an annual pass as a gift from himself and I can honestly say we have definitely been getting our money's worth (only 35 euros for the whole year!) It's not expensive to visit the gardens anyway (actually it's free) but to visit the museums and the zoo you do have to pay. The zoo is around 10 euros, whereas the

museums are a little less (plus don't forget if you are under 26 and a member of the

European Union most of the museums are free anyway). The zoo might seem a little overpriced, although I think it's around the same price in England but from experience I can say it's worth a visit. It remains a small zoo but the animals are surprisingly exotic and the area itself is arranged exceptionally well. You can walk around peacefully in a wide, open space, forgetting almost completely that you are even in Paris. Why would you want to forget you were in Paris you might ask? Let me know how you feel after a few months in this busy city...you might find you are craving peace and quiet more than you ever thought you would. It's a place to escape the intensity and demands of a city like Paris.

The Jardin d'Alpin is my favourite place within the park. It is a specialised garden next to the zoo where you can sit and eat, read, study...the list goes on. The plants are incredibly beautiful and it is insanely peaceful when you consider it's only a short walk away from the busy area that is the fourth (Le Marais). It's hard to explain why it is so important to visit the Jardin des Plantes but I have to recommend it to you. If you are interested in gardening, palaeontology or even just enjoying a stunning garden pretending you are Elizabeth Bennett parading around Pembury with your own version of Mr Darcy...sorry was I day dreaming again...Just believe me, each person has their own reason for frequenting this beautiful place.

I have a huge number of pictures i'm not sure how I will really choose which to include in this blog so you might have to be confronted with less text, more images. After all they say a picture speaks a thousand words.

Soon I am hoping to go to Buttes Chaumont, a gorgeous park that is very famous for the architectural designs of its buildings.The only problem is it's quite far out so you probably need a full day to go there (without interruptions of work/study/plans) alors...as of yet I haven't made it there. This weekend however, a bit closer to home, there is finally a horse race on at the Hippodrome in Maisons-Laffite, called La Fete de Courses. I am hoping to pop over and take a closer look because somehow entry is free (not like a day at the races in the UK where you have to shell out for ticket, dress and a bottle of champagne to drink with your rara mates...champagne you end up later resenting when you realise it cost you most of your wage packet for that month). But actually...here in France it seems they don't charge for this sort of thing, maybe it isn't a real competition but i'm happy just seeing some form of horse race before I leave for the summer.

What else to tell you...honestly I need to stop frequenting the Jardin des Plantes because I just don't go anywhere else. The problem is when you really love somewhere in Paris it's hard to want to go anywhere else. As soon as somewhere becomes personal to you, that's it for a while. Un rapport avec un endroit (the French is totally wrong but you get the idea), a relationship with a place. I will try and visit the Grand Palais this week too as they have a new exhibition at the moment which looks interesting. It really is just a HUGE pebble that some abstract artist probably sees as so much more but to me, it's just a big, strange, cool pebble that you can go inside. If you're interested check out http://www.grandpalais.fr/visite/en/

La vie

I keep reading other people's blogs and I have come to a conclusion - I shouldn't. I really started this blog with the honest intention of writing about touristy things and la vie Parisienne. Instead it has turned into ways my friends and I have embarrassed ourselves and random ramblings. Apologies for this. From now on I will try to write about things in Paris, things I love and have seen so far and what I plan to see in the future. This is my first attempt at a more informative blog so forgive me if i'm a bit rusty...

So this weekend didn't include many tourist style visits as I had only just recovered from having 'la grippe' and decided to take it easy. On Friday night Nora, Ilana and I went tol'Avenue for some drinks and the general relax we needed at the end of a stressful week taking care of children! There was a very good looking waiter who served us too which was a nice plus point, although the girls insisted he was only 18 so needless to say nothing else happened ha. L'Avenue is one of my favourite brasseries to go to and with limited choice in Maisons Laffite it's nice that we have found one we like. They also do one of the best CroqueMonsieur/Madames that I have ever tasted.

Saturday I worked all day as I offered to babysit for another family, two families in fact - one French and one American. It was a good day all in all and easy babysitting but the best aspect by far was being able to speak French with Melanie. She is only eight but she is such a bright kid and she doesn't speak any English besides hello/goodbye/thank you alors we spoke only in French. Ideal practice for me. Saturday evening was spent with the girls, watching movies, drinking wine and eating bread, cheese and pizza. We also dyed my hair...well Rachel helped me to dye the blonde out. It finally looks natural I am very pleased!

Sunday we tried to go to one of the famous American diner's in Paris Breakfast in America but the queue was huge and the people at the front of the queue had been waiting for half an hour. So sadly we settled with a Starbucks brekkie (not so bad) and promised ourselves we will eventually get brunch from the American diner. If anyone is interested in getting a real American breakfast then visit...

4, rue Malher
75004 Paris, France (map)

Métro: St Paul

After we headed to one of my favourite places in Paris...The Long Hop. Yes, that's right. Not the Eiffel Tower or Arc de Triomphe but an English pub hidden quietly down a side street to the right of Notre Dame. The pub has a great atmosphere, friendly staff and really reminds me of home. We have watched every England six nations there now and have somehow be-friended the bar staff. This led to far too many drinks being consumed on Sunday and the lying down game making it's break on Paris. Hilarious times, looking forward to the final this weekend at one of my favourite places in Paris.

I also just remembered I went to Parc Monceau with the girls a few weekends ago so I will update on that soon but for now i'm exhausted and all this serious tourist talk has made me tired.

Ciao

To do list

Firstly have to say a quick shout out to Tokyo - after experiencing a powerful 8.9 magnitude earthquake that rocked the capital a 33ft tsunami has devastated northern coastal areas. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone there. These natural disasters are becoming far too frequent.

Anyway aside from less depressing topics this blog is a to do list, a list of all the things I have left to do in Paris before Summer. Here goes...

1. Unrelated to Paris but related to the process of how life altering this experience has been. Read Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts.

2. Go and visit the Vel d'Hiv memorial and all the plaques around Paris which commemorate what happened on that awful day in July 1942.

3. Visit the Pantheon. DONE

4. Find someone to put a padlock on the Pont des Arts bridge with, even if it's a friend. Romantic stuff peeps got to be done. DONE, WITH STACEY, APRIL'11

5. Go to Musee d'Orsay again.

6. Finish the Louvre (over several days)

7. Climb the Eiffel Tower (night & day) DAY - DONE

8. Take my parents to have falafel on Rue de Rosiers

9. Visit all the Paris parks

10. Buy a Longchamp bag and become truly Parisien DONE

11. Go the the Sex museum and Moulin Rouge

12. Learn how to make croissants from a French baker

13. Visit the Chateau de Versailles

14. Learn how to skateboard from Noah TRIED, FAILED

15. Go to a real French market for bread/wine/cheese

16. Go to a flea market

17. Take a river cruise down the Seine

There are many more but right now I am off into Paris as I am FINALLY feeling human again so I will update it when I can think of more.

The minutes, the hours, the days.

It's been a little while since I last blogged and a lot has changed in that time. Firstly, something that I thought was increasing my happiness actually happened to alter it greatly. I won't go into so much detail, mainly because I don't want to relive the painful experience but let's just say: lesson learnt - people are not always as genuine as they may first appear. A wise friend told me an incredible quote today (she really understands my literary side) that

"Most loves are like that ... You heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and independence. After a while, you start throwing people out - your friends, everyone you used to know. And it's still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it's going to take you down with it. I've seen that happen to a lot of girls here. That's why I'm sick of love."

After that I am determined to read the book - Shantaram, recommended to me by my lovely friend Charlotte.

I am also reading a new book, given to me by the lovely American family that I sometimes sit for. It's called 'Sarah's Key' and it's based on the story of young Sarah Starzynski - a young French, Jewish child living in Paris during the occupation. It jumps between Sarah's story in 1942 to that of Julia Jarmond in 2002 and how their past, present and future have become inextricably linked. So far it's been incredibly moving and emotional and I would recommend it to anyone. It has also opened my eyes to how few people are aware of the Vel d'hiv Roundup of 1942 and how responsible the French really were. I've been angry and sad whilst reading this novel but it has reminded me how important it is not to forget the past and how important it is to learn from our mistakes. A really good read.

Lastly I have flu, big bad old horrible flu. La grippe as the French call it, like it literally grips you. Bloody nightmare. Been in bed most of the week, missed my exam today and its still not shifting. Hope it's gone for the rugby and my babysitting on the weekend :-/ already feel like a social hermit. Also stressing about next year, all I know so far is that i'm leaving Paris to go home for the summer and I have no idea after that. If you know me well you should know I plan, EVERYTHING. So for me not to have a plan is...different. Brave? Or just plain foolish? Who knows yet.

P.s. if you haven't heard this in a while, give it a hit

How to repeatedly embarrass yourself, a how to guide

So it's official, I do silly things and generally end up realising that I am a ridiculous person. It seems that anywhere I go I end up doing something hilarious or just plain stupid. If i'm not falling up metro steps or causing a scene in a sex shop I can probably found elsewhere making poor life decisions. It does provide some laughs though, I'll give you that much.

First example - Decided to take Jen to the sex shop 'Passage du desir' in Le Marais, it's interesting as well as a good laugh with friends. So I decide to be clever and show Jenny this vibrator which I think is really cool. It's something stupid like 80 euros and it's called a Mimi but literally it looks like a pebble or one of those soft stones you find on the beach...hence my intrigue as it's not the standard copy-cock. So there we are looking around and I decide to turn on the tester and show Jenny (not tried this before). After a few minutes I realise I can't turn it off, moreover it WON'T turn off. Imagine me stood in the middle of a sex shop with a vibrating pebble, frantically pressing it to try and get it to just bloody turn off. I decided the best thing to do would be to put it back under the perspex box it was under and run off. Unfortunately the shop assistant, who just so happened to be stunningly gorgeous, arrived prematurely and I couldn't get away. He looked at me, then at the vibrating perspex box which was dancing around the table and back to me again. It literally looked like a remote control toy. I am pretty sure I was a shade of violet and for some reason I just forgot all of my french. For the life of me I didn't know how to say 'turn off' so I just kept mumbling something about "uhh c'est casse je pense..." which effectively means its broken. Miraculously he smiled, showed me how you switch it off and then started asking me where I was from etc. I was so embarassed, even when we left he was seriously smirking at me, I knew he wanted to laugh. Won't be going back in there for a while - cringeeeeee.

Second shameful moment - has to go to this weekend's activities. We returned to The Long Hop this weekend to watch the England vs France rugby game, we won luckily a cheeky 16-9 and I was really pleased as well as a bit tipsy. Anyhow...last time we were there was the England vs Wales game where American au pair met a boy and because British au pair had already left as well as the Mexicans, I was effectively stood on my own. It didn't bother me though, the bouncer had told me they were closing soon so I was happy to wait and let American au pair enjoy the last 5 minutes. Whilst I was stood at the bar the barman started giving me free shots and kept joking about "to your 5 minutes" because he realised I had been waiting for a little while. Still I didn't mind as I was now getting free shots. It was only when we went to leave that we realised they were really joking around with us, the bouncer started winding Ilana up and we all left in drunken giggles. I for one was very drunk, was nearly sick on the night bus, not good ha. So anyway that was that and this was nearly a month ago. I had joked about seeing the barman again because he looks like JJ from skins but I didn't really expect to see him let alone have him recognise us. I went to the bar after the game when it had got a bit quieter and he sort of smirked at me a few times when I was ordering but I thought nothing of it...then he was literally around our table for any reason possible - moving the table, getting glasses, changing a lightbulb?!? That's when me and American au pair started to wonder if maybe he did remember us...Not long after he appears at the table with 4 free shots and explains how they were 'for last time' in his French accent. He literally said "you know when you two were here, last time!" and pointed at me and American au pair. I literally dropped my head in my hands and was so embarassed. It was very funny but I just couldn't believe in one night we had made such an impression for him to remember us a month later. Deary me.

I probably did more ridiculous things but I can't remember them right now...I think that's probably enough to give you a few smiles this week.

Oh and just so you can laugh a bit more - the guy I'm seeing had a hello kitty flannel in his bathroom, I was literally like "qu'est que c'est ça?" which is bluntly, WHAT is that? He said it was a gift but it would just be my luck that it was something he randomly liked...the Europeans love Hello Kitty, god knows why! Someone please reduce the amount of times I make a prat of myself?

Les amoureux

I need to write more about Madrid and my sister being here this week and all the things we have done together but before I get into that I have to write this down before a) I forget and b) I lose the facebook chat record so I can't copy and paste the exact words.

So French men are crazy but equally as much I am a crazy for allowing myself to get into situations like this...all because I am too nice to be blunt. I have a new friend, who will remain nameless, who kept asking me out on a date. I explained that although it was a lovely offer I had to refuse. So...he played the friend card and silly old me thought he was being sincere, asking me and my sister to go out with him and some friends and more recently asking me and a friend to go to his appartment for a glass of wine. This is when I began to get a bit suspicious. Tonight he asked me a few questions about my friend who was visiting and I just edged around them only saying we went to university together. This is when he pipes up with:

Boy - tu as déjà fait des trucs avec elle? tu penses qu'elle aura envie de faire un truc à trois?

Me -uhh non merci

Which literally translates to...you have already done things with her? You think that she would have the desire to do things as a three? I love that when I told the friend in question she simply said DO IT, to which I laughed hysterically and deleted boy in question. To say I was surprised is an understatement - funny how people surprise you. I almost thought I was being punked and Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out of my wardrobe.

I don't think I will ever get used to French men. Ever.

Madrid

So...we are actually still in Madrid right now. We have just had brekkie and are wasting some time before we the cleaners decide to free up the bathrooms. Wanted to blog about a few things before I forgot all the laughs we have had here.

First of all, as you all now how Ilana and I can be, we have obviously done and said some ridiculous things. It wouldn't be our vacation if we hadn't. Here is a list to break it down:

1. The bag my host dad gave me is WAY too big for hand luggage. It weighed too much and was definitely over sized with regards to dimensions. Somehow I got away with it because the girl at the counter thought we were hilarious when I almost checked in my bag and not Ilana's. I almost got caught at the gate when the security guard simply said "WOW" about the size of my bag and made me see if it fit in those flight thingy's again. It did so all was good, it actually looks a lot bigger because the expanded bit is broken so I can't reduce the size buhh. Note to self tell host dad his case was a bad idea when I get back. Finally the guy on the plane tried to tell me it wouldn't fit in the overhead but again we somehow blagged it, probably because we were laughing hysterically. To avoid a number of blood vessels bursting tomorrow on my flight home I am just going to check my bag in at the airport, was way too stressful on the way out. Knowing my luck though I will check it in and they will lose it. Fingers crossed all will go okay.

2. I looked up an ancient wall I really want to visit, before we left I knew it was called the Arab Wall and the metro stop was Puerto del Teledo. Unfortunately somewhere between the short journey from our hostel to the metro stop I forgot the name of the wall. I managed to come up with 'Aber' wall. Poor Ilana must have asked five different people where this old wall was/the ancient city and when they all looked at her blankly/like she was a crazy person I realised I must have got something wrong. After walking around for a while we realised we weren't going to find it, one thing to note about Madrid is there are no maps of the city, ANYWHERE. You can find about one hundred metro maps but if you want a city map, I recommend buying one. We have spent a good 30% of the trip being lost. So...back at the hostel it turned out I had got the name wrong and the metro stop the reliable internet told us was also wrong. Sadly we never did find the wall.

3. Valentine's day was a blast though. We met a few people from the hostel - a german called Volker, a guy called Gene who I refused to call Gene as I thought it was a girl's name and nicknamed him 'Denver' - where he was from in the states and a crazy American girl called Myriam who had quit her job and was travelling the world for a year. We ended up in a number of bars drinking tequila and sangria and partied until 7am in some club called El Son where Ilana and I were taught how to salsa by some Spanish dudes. It was actually hilarious and I ended up giving up on the salsa and sweaty Spanish man after a while and ballroom danced with Denver. Haven't laughed that much in a long time and was really cool to meet some other guys from the hostel. Ilana and I also had a romantic boat rode, in a small rowing boat, on a man made lake. Photos to come...we made the most of Valentine's day in Madrid that's for sure.

4. I don't really have time to blog anymore a we are off to the museum of modern art, Reina Sofia today and I need to go and get ready. But there's a little update for you guys to have a laugh at or in some people's case roll your eyes at as you realise I get more ridiculous by the day. Back in Paris tomorrow and Lydia arrives on Friday so full update then.

Adios!

Quick link...!

Viva Espagne. And vacation...finally.

So...I totally can't sleep. I think it must be a mix of excitement about tomorrow and slight panic that I haven't packed, cleaned my room, finished my washing or found out if my mother has transferred my holiday money. Oh well, who cares, all I know is I am freaking excited to get on that plane and get to Madrid for a few days.

On the other hand it could be because I baked tonnes with the boys today and drank too much tea. A mixture of a caffeine and sugar high? Maybe. Made flapjack for the first time and thanks to my sister (who although is in another country, is always somehow still there for me when I need her e.g. for flapjack crisis). Here are my creations...Regular Nigella today.

It also happened to be the most gorgeous day today. Summer's day in the middle of February...Spring really has come early in Paris. I spent most of the day outside with the boys, Tiina and her boys - playing football, duck duck goose, watching J and L develop their green fingers and swinging on the tree-swing. Such a simple day but such a memorable one.

So tomorrow American au pair and I are off to Madrid, we are both super excited but aware we are ridiculous so there could be some funny stories to blog when I return. For now, I will leave you with the song I cannot stop listening to at the moment and a bunch of bisous' my fellow bloggers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g4zas0mCMk (see blog previous to this one!)

As my good friend would say - "I'm peacing out."

And just to lower the tone...

The French named a vibrator after me...I am freaking famous and worth 119 euros. Apparently.

Sun, Spain, Smiles. In that order.

So much to write, it's 23h30 here so not sure you will get too much out of me but a quick little update. Don't worry this post will be more upbeat than the last! A lot can change in a short amount of time. What happened last week has happened, it's in the past and in my past. Some of you will know what I'm talking about, admittedly a small amount but for the rest of you - as we would say here "n’inquiète pas." I'm doing fine.

Better than fine actually. Today was such a warm, fresh spring day. I say 'spring' who am I kidding it's still freaking winter but somehow we have sunshine and I'm not going to complain about that, ever. I walked along the road today and just stopped and closed my eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face. I felt it again as I emerged from the metro station and climbed Opera steps, it was so warm it could have been summer. Seriously sometimes I have to pinch myself when I realise I actually live here, in Paris. And could be here for what is potentially...indefinitely.

Whilst we are on the subject of Paris it seems only natural to mention a bit of romance.

ALORS, my mum always taught me to believe in fate. Sometimes it's hard to know that when something happens in your life that it really is, the way it's meant to be. But trust me when I say, everything does happen for a reason. I'm here for a reason, I have met certain friends for a reason (I mean I'm going to Madrid next week, who saw that coming?!) and I will stay here for a reason - if at first it isn't as obvious as you would think. Just believe me when I say, when you meet someone who is somehow intertwined, no matter how bizarrely or unexpectedly with your life, you just know.

As I get further into Eat, pray, love I find myself agreeing with this religious idea that happiness can only be achieved through the means of a spiritual and physical peace. So maybe it would be better to look at FATE as...Feeling. all. things. evenly. Finding a balance so to speak. The only way I can describe it is like...being on a set of weighing scales with only you on one end. When the right person comes along, everything just sort of feels...balanced, safe, secure. So let's hope when it does happen...you just know.

And then you just - smile.

Sunday Blues

Today...for a number of reasons I do not wish to discuss, has been a difficult day. Sadly my blog is not somewhere I am free to write my feelings without a second thought as I have to remember - people read this (sometimes?!) All I have to say today are not my own words but another's and which will help to put the smile back on my face. So just remember...

Everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together. Marilyn Monroe.

The new arrival

First bit of news....Welcome the the world kiddo! Raphael Benjamin Bruot born 11:48 am, weighs in 3,8kg and measures 54cm. En pleine forme le beau! The baby has arrived and I saw him yesterday, he is so beautiful and kept gripping my finger! Jamie was so good with him too, when the baby cried he would say "Don't be sad baby." Too cute.

The boys were pretty exhausting yesterday though. I had to put them to bed too but it didn't help that in fact, I was exhausted. We lay in N's single bed and all squished in to read a story (they made me read in French and kept giggling). These boys are hard work sometimes but they really are gems. Getting too attached and guess I won't want to leave when the time comes...

On another positive note...I actually went on a date this week. I was going to bail like I always do...because of certain things which some of you know about. But after speaking to my best friend here and my sister I was told to suck it up and get myself out of the house. And actually...I had one of the best night's out in a long time. We ended up in some random bar/gig house watching live music until after midnight. Unfortunately we couldn't get to St Lazare for the last train because the metro stopped but luckily I had R and could crash with her (thankyou again R I owe you!!) Did get an invite to stay chez lui but this could possibly work out so didn't want to. Anyway...baby steps but I am trying to make them, have to really.

Off to Musée d'Orsay today avec les filles and then boat party on the Seine tonight. Should be a good weekend. Just need F to come back so I can get ready and go...

Bise

Is it really January???

So...it's official. France has no idea what month it is. The sun has been shining all weekend and things seem to be taking a positive turn for me so I'm not complaining :) although knowing my luck saying that will jinx my 'chance' so far.

The car tire finally got fixed but not by F and I, the mechanic had to come and do it, it was just impossible to get the tire off! So pleased about that as now at least one of us can drive it to the garage. Then yesterday I met Rachel in Le Marais, we wondered around it for hours and I managed to buy a vintage jumper for 5 euros (below). It was a good day :)

I love Le Marais, I literally could stay there all day and not get bored. However you do have to be careful of some of the...specialist shops. Rachel and I thought we stumbled across a cute kitchy shop full of goodies, it was only after I thought nipple gems were wall decorations and Rach opened them to see naked boobs that we started to clock on. After that it was like my eyes finally opened and I took in the whole of the shop surrounding us. I immediately spotted a "sex for over 40s book," tease me, touch me, feel me etc written on the tops of the walls and then practically stumbled into a whole wall of dildos. It was very funny don't get me wrong

but our naiveity made me laugh...we didn't even realise where we were!

The laughs just rolled on after that...we finally found the 'Gay' bakery. I think it is easier for a picture to explain this...penis bread, penis brioche, penis viennoiseries - you name it they had it. I literally love Le Marias. Rach and I also witnessed a crazy guy who was dressed in a bright pink bomber jacket and matching trousers. I was trying to get a picture but I wasn't stealth enough.

Rachel and I also came across a vintage shop we hadn't found before, it had some

new stuff in but my favourite things were the Beatles/Joy Divison/Clockwork Orange tees. Really wanted to buy one but they weren't cheap and they didn't have a men's small so gave it a miss unfortunately. They also had the old school american bomber jackets; the american football team ones? Wish they were still in fashion ha. Best thing about the shop though had to be that the changing rooms. They were London red telephone boxes...there were about six of them, god knows how they got them here and fit them in the shop but however they managed it...the effect was worth it. Check it out >>>

Anyway....the sun is shining so I am going to get off my blog and go for a run and then later I am heading to Le Marais again...but for a different reason this time. I might tell you later...if you're lucky. Peace and love bloggers x

Jinxed

I have decided to never ever again discuss how I have "never had an accident in a car." Note to self - always touch wood when you say things like this! My friend Tina and I were discussing over coffee how many au pairs have scuffed their cars or at worst, hit someone else's car and how we are the lucky ones/safest drivers. Spoke too soon. Was driving home and as I got close to the end of the avenue we live on I saw a lorry (un camion) coming towards me...but in the middle of the road. My first thought was confusion and as it was dark I strained my eyes to make sure I wasn't imagining it. Problem is on these roads there are no road markings whatsoever so it took longer to figure out how far over he really was. As I got closer I realised how much of the road he was taking up, it was either I mount the curb or my side of the car was going to be torn off. I swerved to avoid the lorry and went up the curb and back down on to the road. It was really quite scary stuff and the bang I heard just after worried me immediately. I managed to pull over and after calming down slightly inspected the damage...

The tyre had basically dislodged itself and come away from the rim. It isn't as severe as the picture (on the right) I found on google which is effectively something out of monster trucks, but you see my point. Luckily for me my host mum is trop gentille, she understood it was an accident

and was just glad I wasn't hurt. Bloody scary though, not keen to get back into a car anytime soon, other drivers are just so damn unpredictable. I hope it won't cost the family too much, I would hate it if they had to pay a lot but fingers crossed it just needs a new tyre.

On the plus side, I firstly had a lovely evening with the girls (minus the car incident after). Had the best coffee I have had since being here in ML. It was a café cosy which was literally a layer of nutella, a layer of coffee and then cream...oh and with a mini straw. Was totally delicious. Secondly I bought the nicest tan coat with duffle buttons from Zara in 'les soldes' - the big sales in Paris which last for a whole month! And thirdly I think I did well on a test I thought I was going to fail (touch wood!!!)

Possibly meeting up with B my french exchange friend ce soir but after last night I feel like I shouldn't go out...maybe it has just made me a bit anxious, je ne sais pas. We will see.

In the mean time peeps, drive safe!

Epiphany

Now before anyone get's intrigued or excited...I unfortunately have not had an epiphany. The subject of this blog is The Epiphany, you know, God coming to Earth in the form of a human - i.e. the one and only Jesus Christ. Anyway, the French celebrate this religious festival in the only way that they know how...with pastry.

In France at Epiphany, people eat the gâteau des Rois in Provence (made of brioche) or the galette des Rois (puff pastry with almond cream) in the northern half of France and Belgium. This is a kind of king cake, with a trinket (usually a porcelain figurine of a king) or a bean hidden inside. The person who gets the piece of cake with the trinket becomes "king" for a day.

I have yet to experience a Galette yet but we are supposedly going to try some this evening and Lisa is going to make one on the weekend. I am more than intrigued after walking past my normal bakery yesterday and almost having a mild heart attack when I thought the French had starting producing PASTIES. On closer inspection I now realise that these 'pies' are the galettes and people are buying them to celebrate the epiphany. Apparently the youngest person, which in our case would be J, has to go under the table and shout out who will take which piece of cake and the person who has the trinket is given the crown to wear and becomes 'king' for the day. I hope it's not me...I'm not bossy enough to wear a crown.

Tried to explain this to mother, she was intrigued by the cake but didn't know what the epiphany was so had to explain...bless her. Some areas where she lacks knowledge make no sense at all. She could probably tell me how to turn my small savings into millions but ask her about the epiphany and she's stumped. Had to laugh, got to love her.

Resolutions

Have to quote Bridget on this one...

#1: Uggg - will obviously lose 20 lbs.

#2: Always put last night's panties in the laundry basket.

#3: Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.

#4: Give up drinking, it's bad for my health and it makes me do stupid (although mildly entertaining) things

#5: Take some of those barriers down or will end up 90 and alone with cats

#6: Actually finish writing a book at some point in time

#7: Make a contribution towards my non-existent 'savings'

#8: Profiter de Paris

#9: Roadtrip through the US of A

#10: Laugh more, life's too short