The imbalance of things

I will make a promise to anyone who reads this blog now...(presuming there are any of you out there actually reading this), this blog will not be as long as the previous one. I clearly felt it was necessary to vent my opinion(s) on the French lifestyle which clearly, and rather unfortunately turned into a rather large rant. The topic of this blog is much simpler - pure imbalance.

No my life is not 'unbalanced' - but 'imbalanced,' meaning a lack of balance, a state of disequilibrium. Seriously somehow I wonder how it is even possible that I haven't broken a bone yet, I must just be incredibly fortunate...although note the use of the word 'yet.' It is bound to happen as I push the boundaries of stupid accidents on a daily basis. I think when we were younger because I always had Kate I never noticed that I myself was also quite clumsy. Kate, if your reading this, I'm sorry but you have to admit you were ridiculous when it came to balancing and let's be honest; remaining on your feet on a daily basis. You name it, you fell down it. The stairs in your house, the streets of newton abbot (famously ruining your white trousers), Duke of Edinburgh and George with the dock leaf, so many memories include your lack of balance. I remember you used to blame it on a problem you had with your hips, a reason I now envy as either I am just suffering from some sort of hip problem I don't know about or I am constantly pissed. Either way I am always falling over.

In the space of this week I have bashed my head on a corner cabinet - to such an extent that it bled (a lot) and it had to be looked at. It really hurt, I'm not even kidding there's banging your head and then there's what I did, literally splitting my scalp. Painful was not the word. I presume this recent banging-of-the-head incident has not helped the balance issues that were already present. The accident's go on...so J has a skateboard which he often leaves on the pathway into the house, I see this skateboard and it's almost like my brain registers its presence and then something happens which means I have a moment of memory loss and forget it even exists. This evidently leads to accidents hence the reason I am now limping with a swollen right foot. Honestly, three times I fell over this skateboard, three times!! Now I will be totally honest the latter two times I left and returned to the house I may have been slightly intoxicated (found a new cocktail called un ambres, tastes like apple juice but its devil juice - happy days). But regardless it always seems to be me who is falling over or doing something ridiculous. On the positive side at least my foreign friends here find it highly amusing and generally put it down to being so "British." Stereotype - Hugh Grant; nerdy, British, clumsy, arse - fulfilled.