When in Paris, do as the Parisians do

People say that when you move to another country you slowly begin to integrate into the lifestyle of the other people who live there. To be honest I didn't realise quite how much, or how quickly you start to blend in. I have just finished Stephen Clarke's - A year in the Merde (I recommend it if you haven't read it) and he was completely right. When he returned to England his friends said he sounded French, he couldn't by bread from a supermarket as he felt he was betraying the 'boulangeries' and wine and coffee were presumed a part of everyday life. Without even really noticing my habits have become more and more 'Frenchified' - best way to put although not grammatically correct. This morning I went to a food market, breakfast had been skipped due to sleeping in so S and I picked up a pain au chocolat - first French move. Secondly as soon as we left the market - the time now being 9.25 it was agreed that we had waited quite long enough for a coffee. When I lived in England I thought my dad and I drank a lot of coffee but here coffee is a vital aspect of everyday life, if I haven't had a coffee my brain seems to send out a message that I imagine says "Where is the caffeine???" To which the typical French person can respond by visiting the Nespresso machine we have in the kitchen. We have a coffee machine at home that Dad bought but it tends to gather dust in the corner as the English don't seem to care as much about coffee and it being available at all times of the day. Here there are entire shops dedicated to these Nespresso machines that sell small containers of coffee (they look like small milk pots you get on the plane/train etc) in all different flavours and colours. The coffee machine also differs to our English one because it is surprisingly straightforward. The water warms up, the light goes green, in goes the pot and hey presto there is your espresso (and of course all French houses have espresso glasses - it's a must). I would like to say I have discovered a lot of the stereotypes and stigmas attached to France don't exist but I'd be lying. Yes they drink a lot of coffee, every day and at any time. And personally I can see myself becoming as much of a coffee addict as any Parisian.

Something I also noticed which again confirms English suspicions is yes, the French drink, a lot. Although I have never seen anyone in my house drinking during the week it is very common to pass bars at lunchtime and see people drinking. In England the only people in the pub at lunchtimes (if it doesn't sell food) are layabouts, alcoholics and the bar staff themselves. I used to work in a pub, you get to know these things. The lovely old lady that comes in and has 2 large glasses of wine at lunchtime and comes back in at 5pm for 3 more glasses is not such a sweet old lady but in fact, has a rather serious drinking problem. But somehow you can't condemn them, I suppose without them where would pubs be? The French I also noticed have an interesting take on happy hour, it is in the middle of the afternoon. Happy hour here is between 2pm and 5pm meaning everyone at work can go out for several cheap drinks in the middle of their lunch hour. Here the French have a later but longer lunchtime - normally up to 2 hours, because they are all expected to work until 6pm at the earliest, it's much later than England. In my line of work, with the children I obviously can't enjoy a cheap drink in the afternoon but the fact that the French find daytime drinking so acceptable does amuse me. Something that is somewhat frowned upon in the UK unless you are on what we would call an "all dayer" which basically gives you a free pass to get obliterated on a weekend and you are normally in bed by 8/9pm and if you aren't you generally end up making a complete plank out of yourself. This lax French attitude however seems to work here, no one ever seems drunk. They don't have any drink driving laws either - trust me I was shocked too. However I quite quickly learnt they don't need them. There is no such thing as binge drinking here and yes unfortunately they associate it very much with being a British 'yob' which is perhaps why the French so often disapprove of us. The French can drink all day on a weekend but they will constantly be eating, food and drink come side by side, as I suppose they should really. And then after a day of drinking they get in the car and drive home, completely oblivious to the fact that in England it is completely illegal to do so. But as I said, they don't drink like we do, drinking is 'civilised' here. I have to be honest, it makes sense but it's a bit boring if you ask me. Yes binge drinking is 'wrong,' and bad for you in the long term, but having the occasionally crazy weekend with your friends and waking up with a headache/lack of memory/sick feeling is all part of being a young adult. And let's be totally honest here, at the time it is really good fun, some of the times I have laughed until my stomach has ached have included alcohol and I wouldn't change them. Not now, not ever.

OH AND THE DRIVING, apologies if it seems like this has turned into a slight rant, must be picking up on Stephen Clarke's influence, but actually I was explaining my integration into French life. Let's get back on track. The driving, on the right hand side of the road at first was confusing, especially as I hate to admit but sometimes when I'm driving in the UK I'm not sure which way I am supposed to pull out onto the road - shameful I know and I wonder why my parents don't want me to get a motorbike. As I said the driving is fine and I love the automatic A class Mercedes I get to drive around but the roundabouts are pure hell. Think of the most illogical way to drive around a roundabout and the French have done it, they have picked the most stupid driving rules in Europe. I can't even say other countries are similar because as far as I know - from my other friends Germany and America don't have this rule either. OK so you are about to join a roundabout, in England you stop and make your way on to the roundabout where there is a gap. So the French decide to be different, in France I drive straight on to the roundabout without stopping. Now once I am on the roundabout there maybe be 2, 3, 4 smaller junctions/side roads whatever you want to call them joining into the roundabout. So let's see, another car comes from my left, instead of stopping they drive straight on to the roundabout and I have to slam my breaks on mid-way round the roundabout. Also these roads aren't the widest and the roundabout not the largest so you can't see the car until they are pretty much level with your headlights. And the French wonder why they have the most accidents in Europe. It is the only thing with the transport system that I am literally bewildered by, and to be honest quite frustrated by. It makes no sense whatsoever that the person on the roundabout should give way to those trying to push onto the roundabout, and they do push as the rumours are true the French have no idea how to queue. It doesn't really bother me as I'm a pretty patient person but when boarding the bus to St Germain en Laye the other day an elderly lady who, of course, I intended to let on before me anyway because she's old and it's just courteous...decides to barge me out of the way like we are competing for world heavyweight champion. The shock on my face made S laugh out loud. Anyway...I am not meaning to complain about France but simply expressing how I have found the culture to be typical of what we thought.

With all that in mind however, it still appeals to me to disguise the fact that I'm English. Apart from when I'm with my friends and the boys I look after I don't like to speak English. After the first week I didn't even like to dress so typically English. Obviously I am English and I will never lose that but to integrate into a society completely you have to adopt some of their ways. Don't worry I'm not walking around wearing a beret or with onions around my neck (that's a complete myth by the way). But yes, I have bought some new clothes and here a dress always comes with tights, in an evening I have yet to see bare legs but again it is a dead give away that you aren't French. And no it's not because French girls don't shave - that is a myth also. They are as hygienic as us, or any other country in fact. I wouldn't like to think I'm changing who I am, I just prefer not to walk around with a sandwich board on saying "I'M A BRIT." Plus you will find the more French you look and sound, the better you get treated, the less you get ripped off and the more at home you feel. So for now the sacrifice has been made, but trust me, when back in the UK the sun shimmer will make a guest appearance, and maybe even some bare leg if it isn't too inappropriate by then!